His First Gay Experience

16 juillet 2011

. . . 

Last week, after many students flew up to Paris to celebrate Bastille weekend, one of my good companions here in the summer program, originally from Bahrain, and I made plans to go to Nice to watch Woody Allen's Minuit à Paris. Though we made it to Nice and arrived at the Place de Garibaldi, our chill plan for  movie was derailed by...  a gay pride march. (How nice.)

After wandering in and out of the crowd teeming with smiling faces, rainbow details, and glistening drag queens, a young man with a gentle Australian accent introduced himself to us, admitting that he was want for company and was attracted to my shirt. His name is James Welsby and he is a dancer in Australia, currently traveling Europe on a grant awarded to him for his work. Having spent a spontaneous day with him and my friend, and then another night dancing and sitting by the sea in Menton, I can say with some certainty that we are fond of each other. Much to my displeasure, he could not stay longer, for he had to attend to some circus business in London. I gave him some vanilla tea and a red candle with which he could settle himself his first night there.

So this afternoon I finally emailed a handful of photos to my  Bahraini friend. This was his first gay pride/parade/march/rally/demonstration experience, which was a surprise to me but a very good one. I attached a little quip to the photos, to which he responded. His response touched me very much, prompting me to respond to him dearly and share my perspective on the meaning of "the pride parade".

. . . 

I.

"Remember this fondly and be ye not afraid to support equal rights with a little flare.

live on, "

II.

"Merci beaucoup cher Rossi...

Didn't I support equal rights with indeed a lot of flare?

Honestly, I was hesitant at the beginning (not because I'm against equal rights, but because I felt that I'm not concerned about this issue), but now that I have gay friends I feel concerned and engaged somehow.

However, do you feel a parade is a way to gain equal rights? I feel it's just a celebration... but if you want to get more rights, then you should convince us (politicians and diplomats :p).

Thanks a lot again for the photos, "

III.

"Dearest ,

You are right. Indeed you did celebrate equal rights with the flare that is contagious to the crowd. Well done.

I can sympathize to the feeling of being unconcerned or untouched. I often feel the same way when I am confronted with the decision to be active or passive or indifferent about gay rights issues. Though I have many gay friends and myself identify as gay, I feel that some key issues of gay rights do not yet apply to me (legal rights) and that the issues that do apply to me I espouse personally, in my daily life and interactions (criticizing intolerance, promoting person-to-person understanding).

A parade is not the way to gain equal rights. A parade is merely a legal and public display of the community support for gay/equal rights. You are correct to say that it is a celebration. Rather than a protest, the LGBTQS (lesbian gay bisexual trans queer straight) community, I feel, prefers to make a jovial spectacle, which in my experience is often well received and very engaging for more active activists, individuals, and families alike. Note the child sucking on a pacifier while sitting on his dad's shoulders in the attached photo.

The eccentric display is to demonstrate the overwhelming support for equal rights, which necessarily includes homosexuals and homosexual couples (e.g. our sign "homoparentalité: vite un statut"). As you saw, these demonstrations often include other pertinent messages advocating health and safety like "sortez-couvert" (funny how Yasmina mentioned that yesterday morning).

I am very glad that I was able to be with you for your first gay parade/rally/protest/demonstration/experience. I hope that with and without me you will continue to support them, even if it is walking in silence with the crowd. Your presence is as important as that of the loudest, most garishly dressed drag queen.

all my care and good luck with your paper,"

conversation is key,

rossi