Journal de la Semaine, 2-8 Octobre

2^me-8^me

Su           Second rehearsal for Don Quixote: my memory is serving me well. I love transforming myself into a dancer. Today was largely spent, however, loading walls and props into the Adams Pool Theater for Andy Boyd’s original play Affordable Rates and Color T.V. All things were properly set up and the run-throughs went very well, I think.

M            The welcome party for Jill Johnson went off without a hitch. It was superb. I had just come from ballet class into a dark room with a video exhibit by David Michalek that was displayed on three large vertical screens which were elevated a few feet from the ground. David Michalek is the husband of the principal dancer at New York City Ballet, Wendy Whelan, whom I met and spoke with for a time.

T              I updated my Facebook status to: “+2papers in <24hours. -1 three hour. +3 meals. +1 two-hour nap. Lifestyle efficiency.” It’s true. Before I skipped class to finish my paper, I napped on a pillow and blanket on the middle of three benches placed in the courtyard outside of my window. The sun was gentle enough through the leaves of the large tree so as to warm me but not overheat me. I slept for an hour and a half and woke up from a dream in which I was an old man thinking about his death. Images of my roommate’s face, smiling, and my own face, crying, came to mind. Contrary to what these two visualizations juxtaposed may insinuate, I felt very much at peace with my death, so much so that I woke up feeling renewed and fresh. Deciding against class and work for the hour afterward was not difficult. I walked to the river and wrote some sort of poetry, then burned it, and then wrote freely again.

W            I was very hungry in the afternoon and in the evening Andy Boyd’s Affordable Rates had a very successful run. Show goes up tomorrow night at 8pm.

Th           First showing of Affordable Rates and Colored T.V. Successful. First day at the Quincy Grille. Despite the spilled oil, which was not my doing, fortunately, the first day went comfortably. 

F              Today I cleaned the house at 17 Putnam for the brothers who will there and use the space.

Sa           Today’s rehearsal with Jun went very well and my rehearsing her steps last night paid off. We finished creating and learning the choreography today. When I asked, she said that since the last rehearsal to this one her level of security about this piece had increased from 4 to 7 on a scale of 10. Very good. 

"WE'LL FIND OUT"

"Is your mind mistaken,

is your conscience not at ease,

we'll find out

we'll find out."

We'll Find Out, song by Timber Timbre

. . . 

Much has happened in this last month and much is still happening. 

The most pleasing news is that I have been accepted into the Harvard Ballet Company. This semester, I will be performing in several excerpts from the ballet Don Quixote, also being performed this season by the Boston Ballet. In addition to the ballet company, Monday of next week I will audition for the role of an extra in the Boston Ballet's Romeo + Juliet. 

Also relevant is the fact that Jill Johnson, the impressive new dance director at Harvard (read), brought Boston Ballet Artistic Director Mikko Nissinen to instruct a master class at 60 Garden St. studio, which I attended. He was very gentle with his corrections and exactly right about all of them. At this point in time, being in the throws of so much movement and expression will prove to be my necessary outlet. I am a dancer now. How far shall I go?

Next, to know about the nap that I took this evening is to know then that I took several hours exclusively for myself. I refused to respond to anything or receive anyone in any capacity. Having not done this since the academic year began, this nap was a jewel of time re-captured. When I arose in the blue darkness of the night, I allowed myself to accept an intention in my chest to pursue a concentration in History of Science. After moving to my bed (I slept on a large bean bag chair that I own), I re-read a letter given to me two years ago now by a close friend and its message was shockingly relevant: 

Another cool thing about you is your willingness to explore yourself. I’ve seen you dothis through art and poetry, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of other ways. But it’s justtoo cool to see you partake in that journey...and you do it while being so “into” it! Youdo not just float by on the river of life, but you kayak down it. You traverse the rapidsthat make your journey in particular so fun and unique. You make your life your own,and you make it interesting. Like I said, your courage to explore and express make meproud of you...I wish more people could be as courageous as you.      ~M.Navarrete.

I felt ashamed in the face of his words. I felt like a coward because I have shied away from certain knowledge being afraid that my intuition about and comprehension of it would pale in comparison to that of others. His words gave me the courage to reaffirm much of what I have recently doubted. 

Finally and to my dismay, though understandable given the circumstances, the rapid progress--what I call rapid and what I call progress--with my artwork has slowed severely. Though I worry about this, I shouldn't worry. I am all too familiar with these phases of creative diversion. They come and go like demons guided by the phases of the moon. 

shall have patience,

rossi