Journal de la Semaine, 18-24 Septembre

18me-24me

Su           Today was one of those Sundays that go according to plan while being moved by a subtle and more powerful pull. These instances of pleasant overlap of our micro and macro experiences, which are experienced in the present but perhaps strongest in retrospect, are profound, perhaps necessarily so. Also, I sat in on a conversation with Jawole Zollar and Liz Lerman. Potential research and dance project.

                I seduced Kyle but only momentarily, for the instant that I stopped I got typically sleepy until he arrived.

M            Monday was a very busy day. I obtained a little green-blue couch, had a job interview with three interviewers present (they made quite the tour-de-force, perhaps without realizing the power of their presence), and a trip to the Boston Ballet practice studios in the South End of Boston. I spent the evening with Dylan Freedman, which was a pleasure. At the end of the day, I was undoubtedly happy. 

T              Today I was in a very peaceful place and did not feel much for conversation. Most easily put, I had nothing to say to anyone. If only it were that easy without inciting offense. I enjoyed working with Jawole Zollar and Liz Lerman in class today, and on the walk home I procured some ivy from a brick wall, foliage that is now draped in my room to my greatest pleasure.

W            I worked out and feel so good. Ballet class was also amazing today. I felt it. Starting reading on René Descartes tomorrow morning, after an orange and a cigarette on the bench outside as it lounges in morninglight. 

Th           The weather was muggy and the benches wet, so I did not take the cigarette. Instead, I read at leisure at brought Kyle breakfast, for he hadn’t slept at all and with class all the day he wouldn’t have had the time. I also wrote a poem about the spider during this time. Jawole Zollar is magnificent.

F              I danced with Jun for the first time today. After fraternizing, I watched Mean Girls with Dylan and Kyle (it is still very funny). While the movie played, I learned who the young pianist was in Cabot: his name is Michael Taylor, which was a funny coincidence.  After walking to a pizza joint with Dylan, whose stomach was quite empty, I returned to my room to continue moving around. 

Sa           Sacvan Bercovitch failed to communicate with me about working for him this weekend, so I didn’t. I got very upset due to the conditions of a social mixer hosted by the fraternity. I was one man in a gentle threesome last night with two gentle friends, which was a new experience for him. 

Journal de la Semaine, 11-17 Septembre

11me-17me

Su           I decided to consume only healthy and balanced foods this week because of my Boston Ballet audition. Art of Survival. 

M            Today I visited the Department of History of Science and felt the Good energy. I rode my bike in a mob with Josiah and Sam Arnold to Fresh Pond for the first time today. Ballet class was fantastic. Made $10. 

T              Today I went to my first History of Science lecture and got 2 of 3 necessary signatures to join it. I made  significant progress in my solo: The Cocoon. I had a slow dinner with Becky and what I learned about her made me hopeful. I used an apple to blaze and found a small, dingy garage for a stage and I played with the piano to create what will be the music for my solo.

W            Today I had lunch with Cassandra, Chava, and dearest Kyle. I had dinner alone and sat with Kevin Meers and his company, which was pleasing. Afterward, I made more progress on my solo. While dancing in Cabot common room, I realized that I had an audience looking down from the windows across the way.

Th           My solo went well and I had a really nice date with Kyle watching and listening to Wynton Marsalis in Sanders Theater. After that, I had a super chill time with Andrew and Dylan after sake bombing. Slept with Kyle. Good day.

F              My History of Science section is very pleasant. The students in it are all of similar ages and academic aspiration and also of calm and intellectual demeanor. I am very much looking forward to the semester with them. 

Sa           I went on a boat trip with some people, which was nice, though I wished that I were alone the entirety of the ride. I wrote a poem to Boston, my second or third of this genre now.

"WE'LL FIND OUT"

"Is your mind mistaken,

is your conscience not at ease,

we'll find out

we'll find out."

We'll Find Out, song by Timber Timbre

. . . 

Much has happened in this last month and much is still happening. 

The most pleasing news is that I have been accepted into the Harvard Ballet Company. This semester, I will be performing in several excerpts from the ballet Don Quixote, also being performed this season by the Boston Ballet. In addition to the ballet company, Monday of next week I will audition for the role of an extra in the Boston Ballet's Romeo + Juliet. 

Also relevant is the fact that Jill Johnson, the impressive new dance director at Harvard (read), brought Boston Ballet Artistic Director Mikko Nissinen to instruct a master class at 60 Garden St. studio, which I attended. He was very gentle with his corrections and exactly right about all of them. At this point in time, being in the throws of so much movement and expression will prove to be my necessary outlet. I am a dancer now. How far shall I go?

Next, to know about the nap that I took this evening is to know then that I took several hours exclusively for myself. I refused to respond to anything or receive anyone in any capacity. Having not done this since the academic year began, this nap was a jewel of time re-captured. When I arose in the blue darkness of the night, I allowed myself to accept an intention in my chest to pursue a concentration in History of Science. After moving to my bed (I slept on a large bean bag chair that I own), I re-read a letter given to me two years ago now by a close friend and its message was shockingly relevant: 

Another cool thing about you is your willingness to explore yourself. I’ve seen you dothis through art and poetry, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of other ways. But it’s justtoo cool to see you partake in that journey...and you do it while being so “into” it! Youdo not just float by on the river of life, but you kayak down it. You traverse the rapidsthat make your journey in particular so fun and unique. You make your life your own,and you make it interesting. Like I said, your courage to explore and express make meproud of you...I wish more people could be as courageous as you.      ~M.Navarrete.

I felt ashamed in the face of his words. I felt like a coward because I have shied away from certain knowledge being afraid that my intuition about and comprehension of it would pale in comparison to that of others. His words gave me the courage to reaffirm much of what I have recently doubted. 

Finally and to my dismay, though understandable given the circumstances, the rapid progress--what I call rapid and what I call progress--with my artwork has slowed severely. Though I worry about this, I shouldn't worry. I am all too familiar with these phases of creative diversion. They come and go like demons guided by the phases of the moon. 

shall have patience,

rossi