"WE'LL FIND OUT"

"Is your mind mistaken,

is your conscience not at ease,

we'll find out

we'll find out."

We'll Find Out, song by Timber Timbre

. . . 

Much has happened in this last month and much is still happening. 

The most pleasing news is that I have been accepted into the Harvard Ballet Company. This semester, I will be performing in several excerpts from the ballet Don Quixote, also being performed this season by the Boston Ballet. In addition to the ballet company, Monday of next week I will audition for the role of an extra in the Boston Ballet's Romeo + Juliet. 

Also relevant is the fact that Jill Johnson, the impressive new dance director at Harvard (read), brought Boston Ballet Artistic Director Mikko Nissinen to instruct a master class at 60 Garden St. studio, which I attended. He was very gentle with his corrections and exactly right about all of them. At this point in time, being in the throws of so much movement and expression will prove to be my necessary outlet. I am a dancer now. How far shall I go?

Next, to know about the nap that I took this evening is to know then that I took several hours exclusively for myself. I refused to respond to anything or receive anyone in any capacity. Having not done this since the academic year began, this nap was a jewel of time re-captured. When I arose in the blue darkness of the night, I allowed myself to accept an intention in my chest to pursue a concentration in History of Science. After moving to my bed (I slept on a large bean bag chair that I own), I re-read a letter given to me two years ago now by a close friend and its message was shockingly relevant: 

Another cool thing about you is your willingness to explore yourself. I’ve seen you dothis through art and poetry, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of other ways. But it’s justtoo cool to see you partake in that journey...and you do it while being so “into” it! Youdo not just float by on the river of life, but you kayak down it. You traverse the rapidsthat make your journey in particular so fun and unique. You make your life your own,and you make it interesting. Like I said, your courage to explore and express make meproud of you...I wish more people could be as courageous as you.      ~M.Navarrete.

I felt ashamed in the face of his words. I felt like a coward because I have shied away from certain knowledge being afraid that my intuition about and comprehension of it would pale in comparison to that of others. His words gave me the courage to reaffirm much of what I have recently doubted. 

Finally and to my dismay, though understandable given the circumstances, the rapid progress--what I call rapid and what I call progress--with my artwork has slowed severely. Though I worry about this, I shouldn't worry. I am all too familiar with these phases of creative diversion. They come and go like demons guided by the phases of the moon. 

shall have patience,

rossi